Funny English Errors and Insights
Laugh... And Learn!
Welcome tothe website for Funny English Errors and Insights (2010), a new book of unconscious humour published by the National Library of Australia.
Funny English Errors and Insights will be launched at the National Library in Canberra on 29th, October 2010.
In the meantime, explore this website for other collections of real-life English language mistakes,including funny answers to exam questions, media misprints, and silly signs.
See Funny English Errors: The B List for more than a hundred examples of funny English gaffes（失言）. For more funny English errors, read author Troy Simpson's blog. For still more examples,, join this website to download a free PDF version of English As She Is Taught, which lists our top 250 funny English language mistakes from that classic howlers book.
Join this website FREE, and you can also:
o Enter member-only competitions
o Contribute your comments
o Download free e-Cards
o Be the first to know about our much-anticipated book, Funny English Errors and Insights (2010) ...
Features
Follows in the tradition of the runaway best-seller Howler
s books of the 1920s and 1930s
o Includes quotes(引文) that have never been published before in this way
o Includes more than 30 carefully selected funny photos
o Topics include English, science, history, geography, religion, mathematics, and more
o A perfect gift for students, teachers, parents, grandparents, public speakers, doctors, lawyers, journalists, clergy and religious, and anyone with a sense of humour! The word launched in the second paragraph is closest to the meaning:
| A．sent up for the first time. | B．written for the first time. |
| C．for sale for the first time. | D．printed for the first time. |
On the website ,you can do the following things except .
| A．read some funny news |
| B．know something about this book previously |
| C．find a lot of examples about English errors |
| D．express your opinions freely |
About this book, you know that .
| A．it only includesEnglish, science, history |
B．it is quite different from Howlers books |
| C．all the quotes in it are familiar with us | |
| D．it is intended for people all walks of life |
The text is aimed at introducing .
| A．a popular website | B．some selected funny photos |
| C．a new book | D．some funny English errors |
How do you address(称呼) people in English when you want to talk to them? The following may be some simple rules the beginners should follow.
1. When talking to strangers there is often no special form of address in English. Usually, if you want to catch the attention of a stranger it is necessary to use such phrases as “Excuse me”.
2. In British English “Sir” and “Madam” are considered to be too formal(正式) for most situations. They are used mostly to customers(顾客) in shops or restaurants. While in American English “Sir” and “Madam” are not so formal and are commonly used between strangers, especially with older people whose names you don’t know.
3. When you talk to some people you know, you can use their names. If you are friends, use their first names; if your relationship is more formal, use “Mr.”, “Mrs.”, “Ms”, etc, before their family names.
4. There are many other forms of address which can be used between friends and strangers. However, many of these are limited in use. For example, “pal” and “mate” can be used between strangers, but are usually only used by men talking to other men.According to the passage, “Excuse me” is mainly used to ______.
| A．address a person you don’t know | B．apologize to others |
| C．catch the attention of a stranger | D．suggest good manners |
If John Smith is your best friend, according to the passage you should often call him ______.
| A．John | B．Smith | C．Mr. John | D．Mr. Smith |
Which of the following is NOT true?
| A．“Sir” and “Madam” are used more often in America than in England. |
| B．People often use “Mr.”, “Mrs.” or “Ms” before the first names of those people who they don’t know very well. |
| C．“Pal” and “mate” are usually only used between men. |
| D．While addressing friends, people just use their first names |
The passage is most likely taken from an English _______.
| A．textbook | B．card | C．storybook | D．grammar book |
Have you ever thought of taking a train and having an adventure(奇遇)？Riding the train can be a real adventure. That is how I feel every time I take Amtrak. I often take a four－hour trip to visit my children. Every time I take this trip I never know what will happen.
Last week when I was on the train and over an hour into the train ride，there was a man sitting by himself in the back of the train carrying on a mobile phone conversation－in another language. It was loud and disturbed most of the people on the train. I think it was annoying.
Fortunately I sat next to a wonderful old lady who was taking a two－day trip by train. She said her two daughters were distraught at the thought of her driving for three days to reach her home，although she had no trouble driving. The train ride was the only choice for her. She loved to look out of the window and watch the world go by on the train.
She was fun to talk to and asked me when my children started being parents. That is a very good question. Both of us are old and have children. She asked that same question from time to time.
There are always many people on the train from all walks of life，different countries，and many languages. Riding the train is a great way to increase your knowledge and take in all kinds of cultures. If you get hungry，you can buy food in the food car at any time. If you need to use the restroom there is always one available.
It sure beats driving the car，which has to stop for food and restrooms. And it is better than taking the bus.According to the passage，the purpose of the author’s train ride was .
| A．to do business | B．to see her children |
| C．to visit places of interest | D．to see her old friends |
Which of the following is the closest in meaning to the underlined word “distraught” in Paragraph 3?
| A．Disappointed. | B．Satisfied. | C．Worried. | D．Pleased. |
Which of the following is TRUE about the old lady sitting next to the author?
| A．She is too old to drive now. |
| B．She does not like to take trains. |
| C．Although she is old，she has a good memory. |
| D．Her daughters live far away from her home. |
What is the best title for this passage?
| A．Train ride－a cultural experience | B．A painful experience on the train |
| C．The history of Amtrak | D．A wonderful lady |
People who like travelling have their reasons. They believe that travelling can help them expand their field of view，especially in the geographical and historical sense. They also think that touring will give them more chances to enjoy different kinds of food and experience new things that would never be brought by other activities. But those who dislike travelling also have some reasons.
Travelling，in my opinion，does more good than harm. Most importantly，it broadens(使扩大)our mind. We can get in touch with other civilizations(文明)，cultures，customs and ideas.
Through history，most people travelled because of necessity(必要性)－not for pleasure. People travelled just in order to remain alive. They searched for food to eat or places to live in. They sometimes ran away from enemies. This is not to say that no one ever travelled just for fun of it. In ancient times，for example，rich Romans travelled all the ways to Greece to take part in the Olympic Games，and festivals. Of course，some people decided to travel just out of curiosity(好奇心).They wanted to find out what it looked like beyond the horizon(地平线).Also business travel has been going on for centuries. Traders could not only make money but also learn to speak several languages and be introduced to different cultures.
So，travelling does enrich our mind and draw new ideas to us. There is no doubt that we can get much from it.The underlined word “expand” in Paragraph 1 can be replaced by“___________ ”.
| A．widen | B．protect | C．lose | D．decide |
According to the passage，in the past most people traveled____________.
| A．for fun | B．for knowledge | C．to get experiences | D．to make a living |
How many reasons for travelling are mentioned in Paragraph 3 ?
| A．Three. | B．Four. | C．Five. | D．Six. |
What’s the main idea of this passage?
| A．Different kinds of travelling. |
| B．Travelling enriches our mind. |
| C．Ways to enjoy yourself while travelling. |
| D．The advantages and disadvantages of travelling. |
I’m lying on my back in my grandfather’s orchard (果园)，looking up at the branches above me. It is one of the last days of summer. Already the days are shorter and the nights are cooler. Some kinds of apples are already ripe(成熟的).Others will be ready to pick soon. I think of my grandmother’s apple pie，and how I used to make it with her. She died last year，before the apple harvest，and I have not had her pie since. I really miss her. I hear bees busily humming about，visiting the late summer flowers. The gentle hum of their wings nearly sends me to sleep.
The sky is as blue as my grandfather’s eyes. Above me，big white clouds race across the sky like pieces of cotton blowing in the wind. School starts in another week，and time seems to have slowed down.
“Sophie！” calls my grandfather. “Is that you？”I stand up，take his hand，and tell him all about my day as we walk through the orchard. We talk about apples，and bees，and Grandma. He tells me that he misses her too.
He puts his rough，brown farmer’s hand around my shoulder and pulls me close. “You know，Sophie，”he says，“I spent the morning in the attic(阁楼)，and you’ll never guess what I found. It’s the recipe (烹饪法) for Grandma’s apple pie. I used to help her make it sometimes. I can’t do it all alone，but you used to help her too. Maybe between the two of us，we can work it out. Want to try？”
“But it won’t be the same without Grandma，” I tell him.
“That’s true，”he says，“but nothing is the same without Grandma. Still，I don’t think that she would want us never to have another apple pie. What do you say？” I nod yes，and we walk towards home...towards an afternoon in the farmhouse kitchen，making Grandma’s famous apple pie.We learn from the passage that Sophie .
| A．likes to watch clouds in the attic |
| B．comes to the orchard after school |
| C．enjoys Grandma’s apple pie very much |
| D．picks many apples in the orchard |
Sophie’s grandfather spent the morning in the attic.
| A．looking for Grandma’s recipe for apple pie |
| B．helping Sophie’s grandmother make apple pie |
| C．trying to make apple pie all alone for Sophie |
| D．talking about apples，and bees，and Grandma with Sophie |
The underlined part in the last paragraph shows.
| A．how much Sophie’s grandmother loved Sophie |
| B．how much Sophie’s grandfather likes apple pies |
| C．how much Sophie loves her grandfather’s orchard |
| D．how much Sophie’s grandfather misses Grandma |
Which of the following might be the best title for the passage?
| A．My grandfather’s orchard | B．My grandmother’s apple pie |
| C．A morning in the attic | D．The last days of summer |
"It's this time of year when the weather starts warming up and frogs start breeding - but they haven't been breeding," says John Wilkinson, research and monitoring officer at the Amphibian and Reptile Conservation Trust (ARC).
Amphibians (两栖动物) are just one of the groups of animals that nature observers fear may have problems reproducing this year, as groundwater levels are even lower now than in the infamously dry summer of 1976, according to the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra). According to the UK's Centre for Hydrology and Ecology the average rainfall so far this winter has been the lowest since 1972.
"If ponds dry up totally," says Mr. Wilkinson, "you could have lots of dead tadpoles." Drier and windier conditions could also make it more difficult for juvenile amphibians to survive their journeys between wet habitats.
But Peter Brotherton, the biodiversity manager for Natural England, says that "drought is part of nature's cycle", and, at present, a lot of animals, plants and insects are still in hibernation. This means that the population picture is unclear. "However, when we get extreme events, we get animals dying," he says. "And what is worrying is that normally at this time of year we expect soil to be near saturation（湿润）after winter."
Charlie Kitchin, the RSPB's site manager of the Nene Washes in Cambridgeshire, says the 2,000-acre wetland and grassland area is now struggling following two winters with relatively little winter rain and no flooding. One species that could suffer, he says, is the black-tailed godwit（黑尾豫）. "There are only 50 breeding pairs in the country, and we have 40 of them, and everything is bone-dry," Mr Kitchin says.
But one bad nesting season, he says, is "not the end of the world". "One of the features of flood plains is that they're volatile anyway," he adds. "But if they fail to breed another year, the population is likely to dip again."According to the passage animals may have problems reproducing this year mainly due to _____.
| A．drought | B．hibernation | C．windier conditions | D．extreme events |
What really worries Peter Brotherton is that ________.
| A．drought is part of nature’s cycle | B．animals are still in hibernation |
| C．soil at this time is far from saturation | D．the population of animals is still unclear |
Which of the following is NOT true of Charlie Kitchin’s words?
| A．Drought has so far continued for two winters. |
| B．Animals could survive one bad nesting season. |
| C．The black-tailed godwit is in danger of extinction. |
| D．40 black-tailed godwits live in the Nene Washes. |
The underlined word volatile in the last paragraph can be replaced by ________.
| A．losing water | B．undergoing changes |
| C．breeding animals | D．suffering flood |
It can be learnt from the text that ______________.
| A．groundwater levels this summer are lower than those of 1976 |
| B．the average rainfall this year has been the lowest since 1972 |
| C．windier conditions could also cause some amphibians’ death |
| D．flooding plays no useful role in wetlands and grasslands |