A. Be brave in your requests
B. You get what you tolerate
C. Don’t feel guilty of your requests
D. Don’t think others are mind readers
E. Don’t make a “no” mean more than it does
F. Be specific about what you want and when you want it
Be Bold: Ask for What You Really Want!
Have you ever been in a situation that is causing you to feel annoyed, frustrated, or unappreciated? We all experience them, but often we don’t have the courage to change them or ask for what we really want. Complaining about your problems never solves them. Only when you get clear about what you want, and are willing to ask for it, will you experience not only a lot less stress in your life, but greater success in your relationship, career and life. Here are five tips to help you on your way.
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We often think our bosses, colleagues and even our friends can understand our thought even without being told. So when they don’t act as we’d like, we feel hurt and upset. For any relationship to develop, both parties have to communicate their needs. Whether it’s how you’d like your colleague to communicate with you about a work project, or how you’d like your boss to assess your work, it’s necessary to convey what you want.
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When asking for what you really want, you will seldom, if ever, be given more than what you have the courage to ask for. So don’t weaken your requests to avoid being turned down. Think about what your ideal outcome would be and then confidently, courageously, ask for it. While you may not always get as much as you asked for, you will get more than you would have otherwise.
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In the workplace, the biggest reason for unmet expectations is a lack of understanding of exactly what is expected. A request that holds water needs to make clear not just what you want, but also the time limit within which you want it. That is, both a clear “what” and “when”. For example, “Could you please get the monthly sales report to me by midday Friday?
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Whether it’s asking your friend to show up on time, or asking your colleague to stop making jokes in your presence, every day, through what you say and do, you teach others how to treat you. Letting others know what you will （and will not）put up with and what you expect from them, is important to your wellbeing and success—at home and work.
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In reality you won’t always get what you ask for. Your boss won’t always give you the pay raise you’d like and your parents may not agree to mind your three kids every second weekend. When people say no, you can take it really personally and decide never to speak to them again—or you can accept it graciously and move on. At least now you know where you stand and can plan accordingly.
Asking for less than you really want—from yourself, from others and from life—doesn’t serve anyone. Remember that fortune favors the bold. So make bigger, better, bolder requests, and ask for what you really want. Who knows…you might just get it!

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