A classic joke goes like this: A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.” The doctor says, “Tell him I can’t see him.”
Pretty simple, right?
Here’s how I tell it: “A nurse—her name is Joyce—feels a presence in the waiting room. She looks around but sees nothing. She jumps up from her desk, carefully replaces her chair, and runs down the lavender-hued hallway to the doctor’s office. She knocks on the door. No response. He’s not there. Where can he be? She continues down the hall, admiring a lithograph of an 18th-century Mississippi paddleboat along the way.” By this time, my audience has left, but I soldier on. “She bursts into the exam room and says, ‘Doctor, doctor!’ The doctor, I should mention, is a urologist with a degree from Ohio State, which is where my nephew …”
You get the idea. I’m an embellisher. I can’t leave a simple gag alone.
I’m not the only joke-challenged member of the family. My sister’s worse than I am. Her problem: She can’t remember them. “‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says…’Uh, let me start all over again. ‘A nurse rushes into a waiting…’No, it’s not the waiting room. She just came from the waiting room. Let me start all over again. ‘A doctor rushes into…’ No, wait…”
My uncle’s different. He’s guilty of taking a perfectly fine joke and selling it as the second coming of Oscar Wilde, “Okay, this is a good one. Ready? No, really, ready? Okay, fasten your seat belts. Ready?‘A nurse…’Got it? A nurse? Okay, ready?‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.”’ Now, this is where it gets funny. Ready?”
No one is ever ready, so they leave before he gets to the punch line.
My father’s on Wall Street, so he hears all the jokes before they hit the Web. And he lets you know he knows them all by telling you all of them. He also knows that most people don’t like jokes. So he slips them in under the radar: “I was chatting with Ben Bernanke the other day. You know Ben, don’t you? The Fed chief? Anyway, we were reviewing the Fed’s policy on long-term interest rates, and he told me it had evolved into its current iteration only after a nurse rushed into an exam room and said, ‘Doctor, doctor, there’s…’ Hey, where are you going?”
My brother Mark understands that the secret to good joke telling is to know your audience. When he entertained my grandmother’s bridge club one evening, he made it a point to adapt the joke to them: “A beautiful blonde nurse rushes into a consulting room…”
No one in my family has ever finished this joke.
But as bad as it is not to be able to tell a joke, there’s something worse: not being able to listen to one. Take my cousin Mitch for example.
“Why couldn’t the doctor see him?” he asked.
“Because he’s invisible,” I said.
“Now, I didn’t get that. I thought the doctor couldn’t see him because he was with a patient.”
“Well, yeah, okay, but the fact that the guy was invisible…”
“Could the nurse see him?”
“No. She’s the one who said he was invisible…”
“How’d she know he was there?”
“Because he…”
“When you say he was invisible, does that mean his clothes were invisible too?” Here’s where I tried to walk away.
“Because if his clothes weren’t invisible,” Mitch said, stepping between me and the exit, “then the doctor could see him, right?”
“Yeah, but …”
“At least his clothes.”
“I guess…”
“Unless he was naked.”
“Okay, he was naked!”
“Why would he go to his doctor naked?”
Next time you see my family and someone is telling a joke, do yourself a favor: Make yourself invisible.Which of the following is true according to this article?
A.No one in the writer’s family is good at telling jokes. |
B.Mark is the best at telling jokes in his family. |
C.Mitch is very sensitive to all kinds of jokes. |
D.A typically classic joke should cover all the details. |
What is inappropriate about Mark’s adaptation of the joke?
A.He knows the audience very well. |
B.He shouldn’t have entertained a bridge club. |
C.He shouldn’t have begun the story with a beautiful blond nurse. |
D.He shouldn’t have told old people jokes. |
Mitch stepped between me and the exit because __________.
A.he wanted to go out with me |
B.he wanted to block my way out |
C.he was trying to repay the situation in the consulting room |
D.he wanted to show that the doctor could see the patient |
Which is the best title of the passage?
A.Learn to Amuse Others |
B.Where to Find a Doctor |
C.How to Ruin a Classic Joke |
D.A Story about a Funny Family |
When I asked my daughter which item she would keep; the phone, the car, the cooker, the computer, the TV, or her boyfriend, she said “the phone”. Personally, I could do without the phone entirely, which makes me unusual. Because the telephone is changing our lives more than any other piece of technology.
Point 1 The telephone creates the need to communicate, in the same way that more roads create more traffic. My daughter comes home from school at 4:00 pm and then spends an hour on the phone talking to the very people she has been at school with all day. If the phone did not exist, would she have anything to talk about?
Point 2 The mobile phone means that we are never alone. “The mobile saved my life,” says Crystal Johnstone. She had an accident in her Volvo on the A45 between Otley and Skipton. Trapped inside, she managed to make the call that brought the ambulance(救护车) to her rescue.
Point 3 The mobile removes our secret. It allows marketing manager of Haba Deutsch, Carl Nicolaisen, to ring his sales staff all round the world at any time of day to ask where they are , where they are going, and how their last meeting went.
Point 4 The telephone separates us. Antonella Bramante in Rome says, “We worked in separate offices but I could see him through the window. It was easy to get his number. We were so near——but we didn’t meet for the first two weeks!”
Point 5 The telephone allows us to reach out beyond our own lives. Today we can talk to several complete strangers simultaneously ( 同时地) on chat lines (at least my daughter does. I wouldn’t know what to talk about). We can talk across the world. We can even talk to astronauts (if you know any) while they’re space-walking. And, with the phone line hooked up to the computer, we can access(存取) the Internet, the biggest library on Earth. How do you understand Point 1 —The telephone creates the need to communicate ?
A.People don’t communicate without telephone. |
B.People communicate because of the creating of the telephone. |
C.People communicate more since telephone has been created. |
D.People communicate more because of more traffic. |
Which of the following best shows people’s attitude towards mobile phones?
A.Mobile phones help people deal with the emergency. |
B.Mobile phones bring convenience as well as little secret to people. |
C.Mobile phones are so important and should be encouraged. |
D.Mobile phones are part of people’s life. |
Which points do you think support the idea that phones improve people’s life?
a. Point 1. b. Point2. c. Point3. d. Point 4. e. Point 5.
A.c, d | B.a, e | C.a, c | D.b, e |
It is possible to talk to several complete strangers simultaneously through.
A.the TV screen | B.a fax machine |
C.the phone line hooked up to the computer | D.a microphone |
The best heading for the passage is .
A.Phone Power | B.Kinds of Phone |
C.How to Use Phones | D.Advantage of Phones |
Is it true that cats have nine lives? One 4-year-old American cat named Sugar definitely seems to have more than one. Sugar fell from the 19th floor of her owner’s home in Boston last month and was only hurt a little on her chest.
“This story isn’t much of a surprise,” said Jake Socha, a scientist at Virginia Tech University, US, in an interview with the BBC. “There have been lots of records of these cats surviving.”
Back in 1987, scientists studied 132 cats. All of them had been brought to a vet’s clinic in New York after falling from tall buildings. Around 90 percent of these cats were alive after their fall and only 37 percent had been seriously injured.
“Being able to survive falls is a critical thing for animals that live in trees, and cats are one of them,” said Socha.
Cats have developed special body structures to survive accidental falls. Their legs are muscular. This can protect their bones from breaking, Professor Andrew Biewener from Harvard University told the BBC. Cats can also spread out their legs like a parachute to reduce their falling speed, he said.
The strange part, according to scientists, is that cats have a better chance of survival if they fall from higher than seven stories. This is because cats have a good sense of which way is down. They can twist their bodies as they fall to make sure they land on their feet. A higher fall means more time for the cat to change its body position.
However, you should not throw your cat out of the window to see how this works. Most pet cats are overweight nowadays. They are not fit enough to change their position in midair, warned Steve Dale, an American cat behavior scientist.
“This cat (Sugar) was lucky,” Dale said. In fact, most cats would suffer serious lung damage, a broken leg or a broken jaw or teeth damage, he said. What can we learn from Paragraph 3?
A.Cats really do have nine lives. |
B.Many cats can survive falls. |
C.Cats are the softest animals in the world. |
D.More than half of the cats that fall from high places end up badly injured. |
What does the underlined word “critical” mean in the context?
A.Important. | B.Easy. | C.Challenging. | D.Serious. |
Why can cats survive falls according to the article?
a. They have a hidden parachute in their bodies.
b. Their legs have developed in a way that protects their bones from breaking.
c. They can land on their feet.
d. They can twist their bodies to reduce the speed at which they are falling.
A.a, b | B.b, c | C.c, d | D.b, d |
Which of the following statements is TRUE?
A.A pet cat that falls out of a tall building is not really at risk. |
B.Sugar was lucky that she was only injured in the leg. |
C.Cats are confused as to which way is down when they are in midair. |
D.A cat that falls from the fourth story of a building is more likely to die than one that falls from the 10th story. |
Cholera is a water-borne disease that is spread through polluted water and food. Cholera is an illness caused by the bacterium. It produces a poison that causes a painless , watery diarrhea( 痢疾) that can quickly lead to severe dehydration(脱水) and death if treatment is not given. Most persons infected with cholera do not become ill, although the bacterium is present in their waste for 7-14 days. When this illness does strike, more than 90% of the time is not severe and is difficult to tell from other types of diarrhea. Less than 10% of sick persons develop cholera with signs of moderate or severe dehydration.
A person may get cholera by drinking water or eating food polluted with the cholera bacterium. The disease can spread rapidly in areas without the proper treatment of drinking water. The cholera bacterium may also live in the environment in dirty rivers and coastal waters. Shellfish eaten raw have been a source of cholera. Therefore, the disease is not likely to spread directly from one person to another.
Cholera can be simply and successfully treated by immediate replacement of the fluid and salts lost through diarrhea. Patients can be treated by being given a mixture of sugar and salt to be mixed with water and drunk in large amount. Antibiotics(抗生素) shorten the course and decrease the severity of the illness. To avoid cholera, we should eat well-cooked food instead of raw food.If a person infected with cholera less than 7 days,he would probably.
A.die B. become sick C remain healthy D suffer from watery diarrheaWhich statement is true according to the passage?
A Cholera can spread directly from one person to another.
B. Eating raw food can help stop cholera.
C. Cholera is caused by watery diarrhea.
D. Polluted water and food can help spread cholera. Cholera can be treated by.
A.replacing the blood in the body. |
B.eating a lot of water mixed with sugar and salt and using antibiotics. |
C.eating a large amount of sugar and salt |
D.drinking a lot of water and eating a large amount of food. |
In order to avoid cholera, people should.
A inject antibiotics B eat the food thoroughly cooked
C eat raw food D. avoid meeting other people
London is the capital of the United Kingdom and the largest city in the European Union. It is the world’s largest finacial center and one of the most important cultural centers and its influence on politics, education, entertainment, media, fashion, and the arts contributes to its status as a major global city. Central London is the headquarters of more than half of the UK’s top 100 listed companies(the FTSE 100 ) and more than 100 of Europe’s 500 largest companies. The city is a major tourist destination for both domestic and overseas visitors. London hosted the 1908 and 1948 Summer Olympic Games and will host the 2012 Summer Olympic Games.
London contains four World Heritage Sites: the Tower of London, the historic settlement of Greenwich ;the Royal Botanic Garden, Kew; and the site comprising the Palace of Westminster, Westminster Abbey and St.Margaret ‘s Church.
London currently has a wide range of peoples, cultures, and religions, and more than 300 languages are spoken within the city. On July 2007, it had an official population of 7,556, 900 within the boundaries of Greater London making it the most populous municipality in the European Union. Since the 2001 the Greater London Urban Area has been the second largest in the EU after Paris with a population of 8,278,251, and the metropolitan area is estimated to have a total population of between 12 million and 13 million, the largest population area in the EU. The public transport network, administered by Transport for London, is the most intensive in the world. Heathrow Airport is the busiest airport in the world by international passenger traffic and the air space is the busiest of any city in the world.Which statement is True ?
A.Central London has 50 of the UK’s top 100 listed companies. |
B.By the year of 2015, London will host the Summer Olympic Games. |
C.Three are 300 languages spoken within the city. |
D.The metropolitan area of Paris is the largest one in the EU. |
What does the underlined sentence in Paragraph 3 want to express?
A.London is a multicultural city. | B.London has a large population. |
C.London has a lot of religions. | D.London has many languages. |
What does the underlined word“it “in the second sentence of Paragraph 3 refer to?
A.The population | B.Urban area | C.Paris | D.London |
If you ask some people, “How did you learn English so well?” you may get a surprising answer: “In my sleep!”
These are people who have taken part in one of the recent experiments (实验) to test “the learn while you sleep” method (方法), which is now being tried in several countries, and with several subjects. English is among them.
Scientists say that this sleep study method greatly speeds language learning. They say that the ordinary person can learn two or three times as much during sleep as in the same period during the day—and this does not affect (影响) his rest in any way. However, sleep teaching will only put into your head what you have studied already while you are awake.
In one experiment, ten lessons were broadcast over the radio for two weeks. Each lesson lasted twelve hours — from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. The first three hours of English grammar and vocabulary (词汇) were given with the students awake. At 11 p.m. a lullaby (催眠曲) was broadcast to send the student to sleep and for the next three hours the radio in a soft and low voice broadcast the lesson again into his sleeping ears. At 2 a.m. a sharp noise was sent over the radio to wake the sleeping student up for a few minutes to go over the lesson. The soft music sent him back to rest again while the radio went on. At 5 o’clock his sleep ended and he had to go through the lesson again for three hours before breakfast.In the experiment, lessons were given____ .
A.in the night time | B.after lullabies were broadcast |
C.while the student was awake | D.all through the twelve hours |
Before each lesson finishes, the student has to____ .
A.get up and take breakfast |
B.be woken up by a loud voice |
C.listen to the lesson again in sleep |
D.review (复习) the lesson by himself |
The sleep study method is being tried in many countries to teach____ .
A.the English language | B.grammar and vocabulary |
C.a number of subjects | D.foreign languages |