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A classic joke goes like this: A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.” The doctor says, “Tell him I can’t see him.”
Pretty simple, right?
Here’s how I tell it: “A nurse—her name is Joyce—feels a presence in the waiting room. She looks around but sees nothing. She jumps up from her desk, carefully replaces her chair, and runs down the lavender-hued hallway to the doctor’s office. She knocks on the door. No response. He’s not there. Where can he be? She continues down the hall, admiring a lithograph of an 18th-century Mississippi paddleboat along the way.” By this time, my audience has left, but I soldier on. “She bursts into the exam room and says, ‘Doctor, doctor!’ The doctor, I should mention, is a urologist with a degree from Ohio State, which is where my nephew …”
You get the idea. I’m an embellisher. I can’t leave a simple gag alone.
I’m not the only joke-challenged member of the family. My sister’s worse than I am. Her problem: She can’t remember them. “‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says…’Uh, let me start all over again. ‘A nurse rushes into a waiting…’No, it’s not the waiting room. She just came from the waiting room. Let me start all over again. ‘A doctor rushes into…’ No, wait…”
My uncle’s different. He’s guilty of taking a perfectly fine joke and selling it as the second coming of Oscar Wilde, “Okay, this is a good one. Ready? No, really, ready? Okay, fasten your seat belts. Ready?‘A nurse…’Got it? A nurse? Okay, ready?‘A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, “Doctor, doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.”’ Now, this is where it gets funny. Ready?”
No one is ever ready, so they leave before he gets to the punch line.
My father’s on Wall Street, so he hears all the jokes before they hit the Web. And he lets you know he knows them all by telling you all of them. He also knows that most people don’t like jokes. So he slips them in under the radar: “I was chatting with Ben Bernanke the other day. You know Ben, don’t you? The Fed chief? Anyway, we were reviewing the Fed’s policy on long-term interest rates, and he told me it had evolved into its current iteration only after a nurse rushed into an exam room and said, ‘Doctor, doctor, there’s…’ Hey, where are you going?”
My brother Mark understands that the secret to good joke telling is to know your audience. When he entertained my grandmother’s bridge club one evening, he made it a point to adapt the joke to them: “A beautiful blonde nurse rushes into a consulting room…”
No one in my family has ever finished this joke.
But as bad as it is not to be able to tell a joke, there’s something worse: not being able to listen to one. Take my cousin Mitch for example.
“Why couldn’t the doctor see him?” he asked.
“Because he’s invisible,” I said.
“Now, I didn’t get that. I thought the doctor couldn’t see him because he was with a patient.”
“Well, yeah, okay, but the fact that the guy was invisible…”
“Could the nurse see him?”
“No. She’s the one who said he was invisible…”
“How’d she know he was there?”
“Because he…”
“When you say he was invisible, does that mean his clothes were invisible too?” Here’s where I tried to walk away.
“Because if his clothes weren’t invisible,” Mitch said, stepping between me and the exit, “then the doctor could see him, right?”
“Yeah, but …”
“At least his clothes.”
“I guess…”
“Unless he was naked.”
“Okay, he was naked!”
“Why would he go to his doctor naked?”
Next time you see my family and someone is telling a joke, do yourself a favor: Make yourself invisible.
Which of the following is true according to this article?

A.No one in the writer’s family is good at telling jokes.
B.Mark is the best at telling jokes in his family.
C.Mitch is very sensitive to all kinds of jokes.
D.A typically classic joke should cover all the details.

What is inappropriate about Mark’s adaptation of the joke?

A.He knows the audience very well.
B.He shouldn’t have entertained a bridge club.
C.He shouldn’t have begun the story with a beautiful blond nurse.
D.He shouldn’t have told old people jokes.

Mitch stepped between me and the exit because __________.

A.he wanted to go out with me
B.he wanted to block my way out
C.he was trying to repay the situation in the consulting room
D.he wanted to show that the doctor could see the patient

Which is the best title of the passage?

A.Learn to Amuse Others
B.Where to Find a Doctor
C.How to Ruin a Classic Joke
D.A Story about a Funny Family
科目 英语   题型 阅读理解   难度 中等
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As the railroads and the highways shaped the American West in the past centuries, a new electhical generating(发电)and transmission(输送)systen for the 21th century will leave a lasting mark on the West, for better or worse. Much of the real significance of railroads and highways is not in their direct physical effect on the scenery, but in the ways that they affect the suurouding community. The same is true of big solar ppants and the power lines that will be laid dowm to move electricity around.
The 19th century saw land grants(政府拨地)offered to railroad companies to build the transcontinental railroads ,leaving public land in between privately owned land . In much of the west ,some of the railroad sections were developed while others remained undeveloped ,and in both cases the landownership has presented unique challenges to land management ,with the completion or the interstate highway system ,many of the small towns which sprang up as railway stops and developed well ,have lost their lifeblood and died .
Big solar plants and their power lines will also have effects far beyond their direct footprint in the west .this is not an argument against building then ,we need alternative energy badly .and to really take advantage of it we need to be able to move electricity around far more readily than we can now .
So trade-offs will have to be made .some scenic sport will be sacrificed .some species (物种)will be forced to move ,or will be carefully moved to special accommodations ,deals will be struck to reduce the immediate effects .
The lasting effects of these trade-offs are another matter .the 21st century development of the American west as an ideal place for alternative energy is going to throw off a lot of power and money to do a lot of good .but it is just as likely that they will be spent wastefully and will leave new problems behind ,just like the railroad and the highway .
The money set aside in negotiated trade –offs and the institution that control will shape the west far beyond the immediate footprint of power plants and transmission lines .so let’s remember the effects of the railroad and the highways as we construct these new power plants in the west .

what was the problem caused by the construction of the railways ?

A.small towns along the railways became abandoned .
B.some railroad stops remained .
C.land in the west was hard to manage .
D.land grants went into private hands.


what is the major concern in the development of alternative energy according to the last two paragraphs ?

A.the transmission of power B.the use of money and power
C.the conservation of solar energy D.the selection of an ideal place


what is the author ‘s attitude towards building solar plants ?

A.cautious B.approving C.doubtful D.disapproving


which is the best title for the passage ?

A.how the railways have affected the west
B.how solar energy could reshape the west
C.how the effects of power plants can be reduced
D.how the problems of the highways have been settled

Students and Technology in the Classroom
I love my blackberry—it’s my little connection to the larger world that can go anywhere with me . I also love my laptop computer ,as it holds all of my writing and thought .Despite this love of technology ,I know that there are times when I need to move away from these device and truly communication with others.On occasion ,I teach a course called History Matters for a group of higher education managers. My goals for the class include a full discussion of historical themes and ideas .Because I want students to thoroughly study the material and exchange their ideas with each other in the classroom ,I have a rule —no laptop ,ipads ,phones ,etc .When students were told my rule in advance of the class, some of them were not happy .
Most students assume that year reasons for this rule include unpleasant experiences in the past with students misusing technology . There’s a bit of truth to that.Some students assume that I am anti-technology . There’s no truth in that at all . I love technology and try to keep up with it so I relate to my students.
The real reason why I ask students to leave technology at the door is that I think there are very few places in which we can have deep conversions and truly engage complex ideas. Interruptions by technology often break concentration and allow for too much dependence on outside information for ideas . I want students to think differently and make connections between the course the material and the class discussion .
I’ve been teaching my history class in this way for many years and the educations reflect student satisfaction with the environment that I create .Students realize that with deep conversation and challenge , they learn at a level that helps them keep the course material beyond the classroom .
I’m not saying that I won’t ever change my mind about technology use in my history class, but until I hear a really good reason for the change ,I’m sticking to my plan. a few hours of technology-free dialogue is just too give up.

some of the students in the history class were unhappy with____

A.the course material B.others’ misuse of technology
C.discussion topics D.the author’s class regulator


the underlined word “engage ”in para.4 probably means ____

A.explore B.accept C.change D.reject


according to the author ,the use of technology in the classroom may ____

A.keep students from doing independent thinking
B.encourage students to have in-depth conversations
C.help students to better understand complex themes
D.affect students’ concentration on course evaluation


it can be inferred from the last paragraph that the author ____

A.is quite stubborn
B.will give up teaching history
C.will change his teaching plan soon
D.values technology-free dialogues in his class

Submission Guidelines
Before sending us a manuscript(稿件), look through recent issues(刊物)of the Post to get an idea of the range and style of articles we publish. You will discover that our focus has broadened to include well-researched, timely and informative articles on finance, home improvement, travel, humor, and many other fields.
The Post’s goal is to remain unique, with content that provides additional understandings on the ever-evolving American scene.
In addition to feature-length(专题长度的)articles, the Post buys anecdotes, cartoons, and photos. Payment ranges from $25 to $400.
Our nonfiction needs include how-to, useful articles on gardening, pet care and training, financial planning, and subjects of interest to a 45-plus, home-loving readership. For nonfiction articles, indicate any special qualifications you have for writing about the subject, especially scientific material. Include one or two published pieces with your article. We prefer typed articles between 1000 and 2000 words in length. We encourage you to send both printed and online versions.
We also welcome new fiction. A light, humorous touch is appreciated. We are always in need of straight humor articles. Make us laugh , and we’ll buy it.
Feature articles average about 1000 to 2000 words. We like positive, fresh angles to Post articles, and we ask that they be thoroughly researched.
We normally respond to article submissions within six weeks. You are free to submit the article elsewhere at the same time.
Please submit all articles to Features Editor, The Saturday Evening Post, 1100 Waterway Boulevard, Indianapolis, IN 46202, (317)634-1100.

Before sending a manuscript to the Post, a contributor is advised to .

A.get a better understanding of American issues
B.find out the range of the articles in the post
C.increase his knowledge in many fields
D.broaden his research focus


to submit nonfiction articles,a contributor must_____.

A.provide his special qualification
B.be a regular reader of the post
C.produce printed version
D.be over 45 year old


from the passage we can learn that the post

A.allows article submission within six weeks
B.favor science articles within 2,000 words
C.have a huge demand for humorous works
D.prefers nonfiction to fiction article

"I Went Skydiving at 84!"

As a young girl growing up in the 1930s, I always wanted to fly a plane, but back then it was almost unheard of a woman to do that. I got a taste of that dream in 2011,when my husband arranged for me me ride in a hot air balloon for my birthday. But the experience turned out to be very dull. Around that time ,I told my husband that I wanted to skydive. So when our retirement community(社区)announced that they were having an essay competition and the topic was an experience of a lifetime that you wanted to have, I decided to write about my dream.

In the essay, I wrote about my desire to skydive, stating George Brush Sr. did it at age 80. Why not me? I was just 84 and in pretty good health. A year went by and I heard nothing. But then at a community party in late April 2009, they announced that I was one of the winners. I just couldn't believe it.

One june 11, 2009, nearly 40 of my family and friends gathered in the area close to where I would land while I headed up in the airplane. My instructor, Jay, guided me through the experience. The plane was the noisiest one I had ever been in, but I wasn't frightened-I was really just looking forward to the experience. When we reachen 13,000 feet, Jay instructed me to throw myself out of the plane. When we first hit the air, the wind was so strong that I could hardly breathe. For a second I thought, "What have I gotten myself into?" But then everything got calmer. We were in a free fall for about a minute before Jay opened the parachute(降落伞), then we just floated downward fo zhout five minutes. Being up in the clouds and looking at the view below was unlike anything I have ever felt-much better than the hot air ballon. I was just enjoying it.

Skydiving was really one of the greatest experiences of my life. I hope other people will look at me and realize that you don't stop living just because you are 84 years old. If there's something you want to experience, look into it. If it's something that is possible, make it happen.

1.

What happened to the auther in 2001?

A. She flew an airplane
B. She entered a competition
C. She went on a hot air balloon ride
D. She moved into a retirement community
2.

The author mentioned George Bush Sr. in her essay to.

A. build up her own reputation
B. show her admiration for him
C. compare their health conditon
D. make her argument persuasive
3.

How did the authou feel immediately after she jumped out of the plane?

A. Excited B. Scared C. Nervous D. Regretful
4.

What did the author enjoy most when she was skydiving?

A.

The beautiful clouds

B.

The wonderful view

C.

The company of Jay

D.

The one-minute free fall

5.

Which word could be used to replace the word "instructor," in Paragraph 3?

A.

doctor

B.

conductor

C.

pilot

D.

trainer

The internet will open up new vistas (前景), create the global village —you can make new friends all around the world .That, at least, is what it promised us. The difficulty is that it did not take the human mind into account. The reality is that we cannot keep relationships with more than a limited number of people. No matter how hard the internet tries to put you in communication, its best efforts will be defeated human mind.
The problem is twofold(双重的).First, there is a limit on the number of people we can hold in mind and have a meaningful relationship with. That number is about 150 and is set by the size of our brain. Second, the quality of your relationships depends on the amount of time you invest(投入)in them. We invest a lot in a small number of people and then distribution what’s left among as many others as we can. The problem is that if we invest little time in a person, our engagement with that person will decline(减弱)until eventually it dies into “someone I once knew”.
This is not, of course, to say that the internet doesn’t serve a socially valuable function. Of course it does. But the question is not that it allows you to increase the size of your social circle to include the rest of the world, but that you can keep your relationships with your existing friends going even though you have to move to the other side of the world.
In one sense, that’s a good thing. But it also has a disadvantage. If you continue to invest in your old friends even though you can no longer see then, then certainly you aren’t using your time to make new friends where you now live. And I suspect that probably isn’ t the best use of your time. Meaningful relationships are about being able to communicate with each other, face to face. The internet will slow down the rate with which relationships end, but it won’t stop that happening eventually.
What is stressed in the first paragraph?

A.The present situation of the internet.
B.The difficulty in communication on the internet.
C.The socially valuable function of the internet.
D.The role of the human mind in the internet communication.

The underlined word “engagement” in the second paragraph probably means “”.

A.appointment B.connection C.interview D.agreement

According to the passage, the author holds the view that .

A.the internet fails to play so valuable a role in communication as it promised
B.the Internet determines the quality of social relationships
C.the internet greatly increases the size of social circles
D.the internet communication is no less effective than the face-to-face talk

What is the author’s attitude towards the use of the internet to strengthen relationships?

A.He is uncertain about it. B.He is hopeful of it
C.He approves of it D.He doubts it

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